(from 6 July 2006)

My sister spent 20 minutes in her bedroom today trying to get some enormous bug off of her window shades. I didn't see the thing, but from the fuss she was making it mush have been the size of a hockey puck. She asked for my help and I refused on the grounds that she was being ridiculously dramatic about the whole thing. Eventually my mom marched in, took a kleenex and squashed the thing, taking care of the problem in all of 5 seconds. I called my sister a retard for not having done it herself 20 minutes ago adn she got pissed, saying that she hated me because I down-play everything.

It was a bug. On a window shade.

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*section omitted*

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continued from July 2nd

11. People who make a fuss when I card them for alcohol.
By now people should be aware of the policy: we card everyone. EVERYONE. If we don't, we get fired on teh spot, no questions asked. And it's not that big of an inconvenience.

12. When my sister plays the violin with her door open.
This house is small enough where something happens in one room and you hear it in the far corners of the house. So when she plays, that's all you get to listen to. And it bugs me when I listen because a lot of times she goes to fast for her own good and she can't keep one note to a bow. It's a right-hand/left-hand coordination problem and it sounds awful and shouldn't be an issue in someone who's been playing since 4th grade.

13. Being called "CC".
This girl at work was astounded at the revelation that my first and last initals are the same letter. So she decided to call me CC. Problem is, it sounds like it'd be spelled Sisi or Cici, or something else really white trash. Only rarely have I liked the nicknames people have given me. I don't like this one but have tolerated it too long to do anything about it now.

14. Scenario: Someone (anyone; you, me, a stranger) is in the bathroom and someone calls in "What are you doing in there?"
None of your damn business! One of these days I'm going to either answer honestly or make up something totally crude. Either way I'm sure I'd never be asked again, which would be nice.

15. The semicolon.
I'd like to vote the semicolon off the grammatical island, if I may, and here's why. The average American is not smart enough to a)use the semicolon correctly and b)form a sentence where a semicolon would be needed at all. We simply are not qualified for that sort of thing.

Also, they're distracting. This may be something that only I grapple with, but when I run across a semicolon in text, my reading is guaranteed to be interrupted by the following thoughts (in this order):

A-"God damn it, a semi-colon."
B-"What kind of semi-colon is it?" (i.e. a lising one or a simple separation of clauses?)
C-"Is it being used correctly?"
if yes: they could have used a comma.
if no: they should have used a comma.
D-"Crap, now I forgot what I was reading."

16. Having acne at age 20.

17. Non-yogurt yogurt in food.
One of the latest crazes in this country is yogurt products. Not yogurt, itself, mind you. People go nuts for anything yogurt-flavored. Yogurt granola bars, yodurt cereal, yogurt candy, yogurt bites. Just eat a damn yogurt!

confession: Total-Vanilla Yogurt cereal is one of my favorites, and I hate myself for that.

18. When people who can't sing think they can.
This one really sucks because it usually means you have to sit through a performance that is mediocre at best. Then you have to be non-descript in your critique lest you look like a mean asshole.

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I don't know why, but I feel sexy when opening the trunk of my minivan. I do. I think it has something to do with the position I'm in when it's all the way up but I haven't let go. It's an incredibly stupid time to feel sexy, I know, but I can't help it.

I also feel sexy after a run.

And while wearing certain towels. I fell like some kind of a toga goddess or something, with just the right amount of curve. It's fun to walk around in them and I do so as often as I can.

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There's a man named Jim at work. He's a bagger and I'm guessing he's 70 years old, and he's one of my favorite people to work with.

Sometimes I don't like how he's treated by management. He always does what he's told an dnever causes any problems so I don't like when eh's asked to do things like collecting garbages or clean messes in the men's room. And I hate when one of the women supervisors snaps at him to do a chore he hasn't gotten to yet. Rank is not so important in a grocery store that you can't show respect for a man who is retired and old enough to be either the father or grandfather of everyone who works there.

I could understand it if he was lazy or stupid or mean, but he isn't and it also angers me that a genuinely good man has to bag groceries during his retirement. He's told me that he just wanted something to keep busy with and the little extra cash helped him pay for a vacation to Arizona.

But I still think it sucks.