A few of my fears

spiders
earwigs
angry guys
TA's
upset guys
getting divorced
being a parent
not finding a career
falling down stairs
answering questions in class

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Sometimes I think I'm guaranteed to get divorced. My parents were the worst example of what married life is. They rarely talked, didn't collaborate on punish us (Mom took care of that), didn't really spend any time together, and slept in separate bedrooms for years. They shared a king size bed for a while and I found out that it was so my mom could be further away from my dad. Nice. They never touched each other, didn't sit next to each other on the couch, nothing. I remember there was some special event at the house once- anniversary maybe?- and one of them gave the other a nice card or something and they hugged each other. I freaked out. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and was completely horrified. If I remember correctly, I ran to my bedroom crying. My parents came in to see what was wrong and I told them that I didn't want them to hug anymore. That is so sick and I hope that I'm never in a relationship where there is so little between us that my kids cry when I hug the man I'm supposed to love. They bickered all the time, too. Growing up with that as the norm, I'm afraid I won't recognize when I've reached that point because it won't feel wrong to me. I will have created what my image of marriage was when I was grwooing up: a cold, hateful, horrible thing that kills peoples' spirits. It sucks for everyone involved. I don't want that.